I’ve been on Instagram for more than a decade and I’ve seen a lot of trends come and go over the years. I’ve also noticed a few that will not go regardless of how badly I pray for their downfall, specifically in the comment section. For quite a while now, I’ve noticed there are three comments in particular that are entirely overdone but somehow continue to prosper at the top of the comment thread. I just can’t stand seeing them anymore. I’m ready to speak out. This is my expose.

”We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty”

This is the one that inspired it all. I wouldn’t be here writing this article, or really be conscious of comment trends at all, if it weren’t for the countless number of times I’ve seen this one. Picture this: you come across a post of someone or something that is intruding in some way. Maybe it’s a video of a bird that has flown into someone’s home. Whatever it is, it’s the perfect setup for someone to comment “we’ve been trying to contact you about your car’s extended warranty.”

Sometimes I even sift through the replies to see if anyone else is just as sick as I am. But no, they eat it right up as if it’s the first time they’ve heard it, probably pocketing the joke too so they can pull it out later and keep us in the same vicious cycle. Please… I am begging… retire this trend and let us be free.

What leftovers?

I can always smell this one a mile away. Anytime a food content creator posts a “how to make the best of your leftovers” video, the comments are full of people who are baffled at the possibility of leftovers. “What leftovers?” “You guys have leftovers?” It’s starting to feel like a competition at this point. Oh you don’t finish your meals? Pathetic. Although I have to admit it’s a great way to boost engagement on your cooking videos.

Acknowledging the bots

You know when you open the app to a fresh post that just dropped seconds ago and maybe it’s a little juicy, a little controversial even, so you head straight for the comments to see what people are saying? But to your disappointment you find that none of the comments are about the content at all, but are instead reacting to the bots in the comments. Like, are you new here? We do not acknowledge the bots, we acknowledge the content.

I’m not sure what I hope to achieve with this article. A comment revolution would be nice, or maybe it’s just time for another Instagram detox.