More often than not our attitude speaks more on who we are than our situation. A negative attitude is not just about being salty when things don’t go our way. A negative attitude may also disguise itself the hyper attentiveness to our feelings about our life when in reality from the third point of view is not as excruciating as we might think. I do recognize that this might also not apply to everyone on the spectrum of background, environmental circumstances and age. My concern is that because of trends and digital connection words such as “trigger”, “dead” and “traumatized” have been watered down over the years. Although most of us won’t admit, we’ve been desensitized to practical perception and more often than not run on the fuel of sensitivity towards the world around us — whether it’s conditions agree with our existence.

Beyond our digital footprint is reality.

My walk to work had me thinking of the encounters that my attitude has either limited me or encouraged me to look out for. Yesterday (or what would have been the day I wrote this). I set myself up for a successful morning to get to work. I woke up at the first alarm, prayed, showered and was out of the house at a good time. However, I’d paid no mind to the time of the bus arrival and the weather. Undressed in my Jean jacket I contemplated if I was being rash and knew that the bus wasn’t coming any time soon. I chose to sacrifice a little more warmth for an early train ride. I walked as quickly as my tiny feet could permit me. Just as I arrived at the train station there came the bus.

I grumbled at it’s late arrival for I had done most of the work getting to the train station anyway “useless” I thought. Then a gush of people in a hurry came rushing from the bus brisk walking and energized from the warm embrace of the comfortable bus ride. I, on the other hand, was just barely holding my breathing knowing quite well all the factors of my early arrival. It seemed like a race to the passenger platform or so my sensitivity could have made me think. In that moment of falling behind everyone else I realized how my attitude in that encounter could have made or broke my day. Set me off my rhythm.

Have you ever arrived at production way station bolted down the stairs because you saw the waiting as you made your way to tap you saw the bus turn the corner — everyone on it staring you down as they leave you behind. That feeling could make or break your day, but at what cost? So, for me at that moment I could have thought to myself “I am late” or “look at how everyone is so fast”. Yet, my awareness of what it had taken me to get there, I wasn’t falling behind, I was on time. I checked my attitude. And since we live in a digitally connected world I could have opted to take a quick picture of my shoes in the train ride for my I.G story quoted “Barely there”. In a way allowing myself to validate my frustration whilst feeding into my sensitivity and for everyone to see. In reality I would feed into my unchecked attitude driven by emotions not practicality.

And it’s not just this encounter. As a crowd we all arrived at the train station and as soon as the train opened I made my way inside only for people to grab seats as quickly as they entered. A one-person seat had a coffee spill at the foot and was avoided by everyone. People stood disregarding the open seat I saw only a chance before me. I set my bag in between my legs and sat. What was worth more? Standing to avoid dirty under shoes or a seated ride for forty minutes? I accounted for how it mattered to me more if I sat because I was going to walk upon arrival in Downtown in order to catch a bus. I needed to recover from my mini brisk walk and if I stood that would have hindered my chance to rest.

No one sat opposite me for one-third of the ride and as people walked in and saw the floor not the seat, they ignored the option and stood. However, in came a man and sat stretching his legs away from spill still comfortable and seated for the ride. Knowing how my day went, would you rather focus on what could be potentially hindering you or search for evidence that your reality is optimal? Of course exceptions do apply.