Before I started my co-op, I spent many years in retail. Although there can be a few upsides of retail (like the discounts or the trauma bonds with your coworkers), it’s also the place where you face the most unhinged scenarios. I think anyone who has worked a service job has their own personal collection of weird or remarkable stories from their shifts over the years. Here are a few of mine:

1. Friendly assault

This is something I could have never anticipated and, honestly, I don’t have a lot of words for it. A customer was buying a roll of wrapping paper and after I handed her the receipt, she reached around the plexiglass barrier and bopped me on the head with the roll. As she walked away she told me it’s something her family always does. Reflecting on it now, I feel a little touched to be included in the family tradition. You can watch the security camera footage below:

2. Bag lady

Back in the days of single-use plastic bags, I always asked my customers if they wanted a bag for their purchase. This was partly because I wanted to be eco-conscious, especially in case they had a reusable bag they could throw their items in, and partly because our store wasn’t doing too well financially and could use the extra savings. I’d say this is a pretty standard question at any store, but one of my customers did not like this question at all. In fact, she was very insulted I had even asked and went on repeating “that’s a stupid, stupid question,” throughout the entire transaction and even as she walked away.

3. The failed engagement

This one was more sad than weird. A young man came to return an engagement ring that he had purchased more than a year prior. Since he was past the 30 day refund window, I told him we could only offer store credit. I was honestly expecting a bit of pushback on his end since he originally paid around $3,500 for it but he just meekly told me it’s fine. He seemed like he just wanted to get it off his hands. :(

4. Gotta risk it for the biscuit

The weird behaviour was all on me for this one. A customer was purchasing a final sale item so I let her know she wouldn’t be able to return it and she replied, “Hmm… okay that’s fine. You gotta risk it for the biscuit.” I had never heard this phrase before and honestly I was a little speechless because I loved it. So I just stared at her and said nothing. And she stared back. I think I just needed time to process it.