Rock climbing is one of the most exhilarating sports out there. It requires not only physical strength but also mental fortitude and strategic planning. But at the end of the day, it all comes down to one thing: the rock climbing holds. Some holds are a breeze to use, while others require Herculean strength and a little bit of luck. Let's take a look at some of the most common types of rock climbing holds and see which ones are worth the effort and which ones are best left alone.

1. Jug Holds

These bad boys are so big and easy to hold onto, they might as well come with a cup holder. They're like the sweet, sweet relief after a long stretch of tricky, finicky holds. But if you've been climbing for a while, jug holds might make you feel like you're back in kindergarten, grasping onto those big, chunky crayons. They're great for a quick break or a moment of rest, but if you're looking for a real challenge, you'll want to move on to something a little more challenging.

2. Crimp Holds

Next, we have crimp holds. Think of them as the super hot, but totally unattainable crush you had in high school. They're small, sharp, and require a lot of finger strength to hold onto. But if you can actually use them, you'll feel like a rock climbing god. Crimp holds require not only finger strength, but also body tension and balance. They're like a puzzle that you have to solve with your entire body. If you're looking for a real challenge, crimp holds are the way to go.

3. Pinch Holds

Pinch holds are one of a kind. They're like a middle school crush - a little awkward, a little uncomfortable, but with some practice, you can learn to love them. Pinch holds require a combination of finger and wrist strength, so be prepared to get a little weird with your hand movements. They're not the most glamorous of holds, but they get the job done. Think of them as the reliable, dependable friend that you can always count on.

4. Sloper Holds

Sloper holds are the equivalent of trying to grab onto a greased watermelon. They're smooth, sloping, and require a lot of body tension to use effectively. If you can master these bad boys, you might want to consider a career in Cirque du Soleil. Sloper holds require a lot of finesse and a deep understanding of body mechanics. They're like the ballet of rock climbing holds - elegant, graceful, and incredibly difficult.

5. Pocket Holds

Pocket holds are like the tiny spoons you get with ice cream samples - they're small, concave, and require a lot of finger strength to use effectively. But once you get the hang of them, you'll be the envy of all your climbing buddies. Pocket holds require not only finger strength, but also a deep understanding of body positioning and balance. They're like a little puzzle that you have to solve with your fingers.

6. Edge Holds

And finally, edge holds are like the guy at the bar who's too cool for school. They're small, sharp, and require a lot of finger strength and technique to use effectively. But if you can impress them, you'll feel like the king or queen of the climbing gym. Edge holds are the kind of hold that separates beginners from experts. They require a deep understanding of technique and strategy, as well as a lot of finger strength.

So there you have it, folks. Rock climbing holds: they're like a box of chocolates, except instead of chocolate, you get pain and suffering. But if you're willing to put in the effort and master the various types of holds, you'll be rewarded with one of the most exhilarating and satisfying sports out there. Happy climbing!

A rocky relationship: An amusing ranking of rock climbing holds