Making Friends 101

It’s not easy walking into a class and not knowing anyone. It’s also not easy to be the first person to break the awkward silence and make the first move. I wish I could tell you that there is one plan, a simple few steps, that makes the whole “making friends'' process easier. But, there isn’t one, as people are different and situations vary. there are some general rules to follow and certain things to avoid. 

Small talk is not so small after all

Believe it or not, small talk can be effective. If you’re sitting alone in a lecture hall and the person next to you is also alone, you can take advantage of the proximity and start the conversation. You can talk about how the bus was late, how the lecture is difficult to follow, or even how sleepy you are and then, move on to have a longer conversation. Depending on how eager they are, you might make a new friend or add another person to your list of acquaintances. 

Stay true to yourself

Make sure you’re not overcompensating just to make new friends. It’s normal to try to be a little bit more smiley or funny at the start of every relationship, but it’s also important that you stay true to yourself and your values. I remember when I first moved to Vancouver, a city where I knew no one, I was quite desperate to make new friends. I used to agree to plans that I didn’t find interesting or engage in conversations that didn’t align with my beliefs. I accepted that as the reality. I thought friendships come at a cost. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have been overcompensating to make new friends because true friends are the ones who will accept you as who you are - the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

Be optimistic

Lastly, and I can’t emphasize this enough, do not get discouraged. Life is a cycle of making new friends and losing some. It’s hard to make new friends and it’s even harder when you lose them. Life happens, it’s normal. It’s important to be optimistic, to keep the door open for making new friends. You would never know who might walk in.